Lines, Wrinkles and Lies 2 and Final

Naked SelfieThis 'naked selfie' business for Cancer Research UK certainly sorted the wheat from the chaff. A million nubiles looking gorgeous without an ounce of slap and a thousand older women trying to find the kindest angle with the iPhone. It took me 45mins to post this one and I still think my face looks like it's been stored under a mattress.I considered layering on the Garnier 5sec Perfect Blur, L'Oreal New Nude Magique CC Cream, Touche Eclat and Bobbie Brown Eye Brightener but you know what? The effect is totally psychological. Fuck all difference, in reality.It's raised 2 million quid so far so good on them.Recently when I was in Milan for a week, I went to see a cosmetic practitioner recommended by a friend. I fancied arriving home looking 'rested.' She said she could sort me out for €450, Botox and fillers, but I needed to take Arnica for six nights previous so I'd have to come back. I liked her approach and she gave offered a hug at the end of the consultation. That's the Italian way.The next week, in London, I visited a bloke near the British Museum. Again recommended by a friend. He shared consulting room space with a tanning clinic, which freaked me slightly and offered Botox and fillers with a free Dermabrasion and blackhead extraction. He'd been an A&E doctor until he'd had a heart attack. Then he left his wife and kids, embraced his homosexuality and set up in the pins and needles business. He has yet to email me a quote and to be honest, I'm relieved. I really didn't want to give him my face.The bottom line was when my osteopath, who works out of a log-cabin with a wood-burning stove in London Fields, admitted she had Botox and fillers.Has the world gone mad?I give up, I can't compete, I can't be arsed to start. If I do one bit, I'll have to do another. If my eyes look good, my neck will still look crap. Alledgedly. The honest truth is, if a man flirts with me, fancies me, ANY man = I feel attractive. If I get nowt, I feel old and ugly. The answer is not chemical it's psychological.So I'm going to join a gym.More on that next week.