Lines, Wrinkles and Lies 1

'Cheer up Elaine, what's wrong with you?'Photo: Ingrid SofrinMy parents gave me this face.But it's been through the mangle a bit in the last 64 years. It speaks of 60 fags a day, Johnston's Baby Oil on the beach in the South of France, long walks up high mountains with no sun screen. Of drunken, dancing nights, hung-over days, and fractured sleep when my kids were young. It's recorded much laughter, exhilaration, furious anger, deep concentration and suicidal despair. It's constructed of crap food, drugs, teenage spots and expensive creams, potions and serums that did nothing  but take the piss and whittle away my bank balance.When I layer make-up on top, I feel like a provincial drag-queen. Or Barbara Cartland.I look knackered 24/7 but my energy levels are high and I feel 34. Life is good so why do I look so shite? Do I want to look younger? Emphatically, no. Do I want to look  less tortured, less frightened of the world and less intense?  Damn right I do. Do I want a new man in my life and not scare him off on the first date with my look of thunder? Yes. Is that why I'm considering Botox and fillers? Yes. Do you approve? Well, here's a guess. If you're married or in a relationship,  you probably don't. If you're a single woman, you'll probably lend me the money.But if you have had 'work' done, and I'm not talking 'trout-pout' or full-facial which speak for themselves, I'm talking a bit of smoothing, a bit of brightening, a bit of filling in, then you probably won't admit it.Oh the sodding hypocrisy of women in the media spotlight. You don't look good for your age, you look a good ad for your surgeon or practitioner. Healthy eating, detox and exercise, my arse. Lulu, Kylie and all the rest of you, fess up and give the rest of us a break. It's not like you've murdered anyone, although some of you have successfully obliterated your unique facial characteristics.  It's not like it's illegal. It's not anti-feminist. Yes, I'm worried about what my kids will say but I'm sure as hell not going to lie.So I'm considering it.More tomorrow.